VIII
I wonder where Id be right now if I hadnt of met you this mornin.
Can I ask you somethin?
I dont know.
Whats that for?
I dont know. I aint looked at the menu.
She looked embarrassed. You know I aint never killed nobody.
He didnt know what to do. He couldnt see any sign of the grandmother. Two Spanish maids were standing in the parking lot watching and whispering to each other. He stepped into the room and closed the door.
I got a feelin I ought to be afraid of you but I aint.
Youre welcome.
She was in the ladies room a long time. When she came out she wanted to know if hed ordered.
I aint eatin nothin like that, she said.
Moss shook his head.
The sheriff looked at the nurse. She was still standing leaning against the door. How many times was she hit? he said. Do you know?
Sure. When youre a big time desperado the skys the limit.
I think youd like to be.
No.
How did you know that?
Run in there and get a cup. Ill be back in a minute.
You know about what.
He spun the menu around and slid it in front of her and turned and looked for the waitress.
Yeah. Well, I appreciate you givin me that money.
It dont take long to get a taste for it, does it?
No, she said. It dont.
Well that makes two of us.
No it aint. I just want you to be careful. We get to El Paso Im goin to drop you at the bus station. You got money. You dont need to be out here hitchhikin.
No ID. The other old boys truck is got dealer tags on it.
Thats good. You need to practice that. It sounds good on you.
No you couldnt of.
Yeah.
Yeah? Well you aint.
Whats in it.
Briefs.
Thats all you can say about it. Hes ten times worse than the criminal. And this aint goin away. And thats about the only thing I do know. It aint goin away. Where would it go to?
When he came out of the motel office he handed her a key.
I dont know. What is it you do?
Maybe its just a old war injury.
No.
Well youre somethin. Aint you?
Oh God.
Yessir, the deputy said. Can I help you with somethin, Sheriff?
Yeah, she said. Id drink a beer.
He stopped and ate on the far side of town and sat in the booth and sipped his coffee and watched the lights out on the highway. Something wrong. He couldnt make sense out of it. He looked at his watch. 1:20. He paid and walked out and got in the cruiser and sat there. Then he drove to the intersection and turned east and drove back to the motel again.
Van Horn. You hungry?
Yes, she said.
You sleep a lot? he said.
It aint nothin to me. Do you?
You dont look it.
He took a couple of rounds in the face so I dont think hes goin to look too good. Not that I aint seen worse. That highway out there is a goddamn warzone, you tell the truth about it.
He looked at her. Let me tell you somethin, little sister. If there is one thing on this planet that you dont look like its a bunch of good luck walkin around.
You want some diesel fried chicken?
Its one of them sidewinders. Its all under the hood.
I think I done have. I believe Im due for a change. I might even be overdue.
I dont know.
When Bell got out he took a look around the lot and then walked up to the door at 117 and tried the knob. The door was unlocked. He ducked under the tape and pushed the door open and reached and found the wallswitch and turned on the light.
This is nice settin out here, she said.
What are you? the girl said.
You aint goin to California though, are you?
A lady somebody?
A blower?
No. Why? You use drugs?
I dont see one.
Yes you do. You knew it at the restaurant. Thats why you come back here.
You could always see the muzzleflash first. Just not first enough. Can you feel it when someone is watching you? A lot of people thought so. He reached the cruiser and opened the door with his left hand. The domelight came on. He stepped in and pulled the door shut and laid the pistol on the seat beside him and got out his key and put it in the ignition and started the car. Then he backed out of the parking space and switched on the lights and swung out of the lot.
What makes you think Id get excited?
Moss didnt answer.
Its about a hundred and twenty miles.
Thirty-six.
To go to California on.
Thats all right. Itll be on the autopsy. Are you ready, Ed Tom?
She nodded and rose and put her pencil in the pages of the book she was reading. Two of em were DOA, she said. They flew that Mexican out of here in a helicopter about twenty minutes ago. Or maybe you already knew that.
Carla Jean.
I guess youre afraid Ill see whats in that bag.
Why not?
What are you?
I dont forget much.
They left out of here about a half hour ago in the ambulance. Two men and a woman.
Moss mopped up steak gravy with a half a roll. I just thought it was probably true. For you its a luxury. For me its a necessity.
She looked at him. I guess I aint sure what the point is, she said.
She ate. She looked around. Can I get some coffee? she said.
You got any money?
You aint, then.
Well, the sheriff said. There aint nothin you could of done about it.
The deputy didnt know him but the sheriff did. They were questioning a man sitting in his shirtsleeves in the open back door of one of the cruisers. Damn if bad news dont travel fast, the sheriff said. What are you doin up here, Sheriff?
No.
He didnt know what he was looking for but he didnt have to. In the parking lot of a motel there were two Culberson County patrol cars and a state police car all with their lights going. The motel was cordoned off with yellow tape. He pulled in and parked and left his own lights on.
Yeah. She knows. Im a welder.
No, silly. I dont know who you are.
What?
I just got off of death row. Theyd done shaved my head for the electric chair. You can see where its started to grow back.
Thems my intentions.
He walked to the cruiser. Studying the cars in the九*九*藏*書 lot. Pickup trucks for the most part.
Oh God, she said.
They went down the parking lot vehicle by vehicle with flashlights and their guns drawn and came back again. Bell was the first one back and he stood leaning against his cruiser. He nodded to the deputies. Gentlemen, he said. I think we been outgeneraled.
Whats your wifes name?
You didnt have to do that.
Well I wont say hardly nothin. Ill be real quiet.
Not really.
Why not? she said.
She hefted it in her hand and looked at him. Well, she said. Its up to you.
Why do you say that?
When they was havin them dope wars down across the border you could not buy a half quart masonjar nowheres. To put up your preserves and such. Your chow chow. They wasnt none to be had. What it was they was usin them jars to put handgrenades in. If you flew over somebodys house or compound and you dropped grenades on em theyd go off fore they hit the ground. So what they done was theyd pull the pin and stick em down in the jar and screw the lid back on. Then whenever they hit the ground the glassd break and release the spoon. The lever. They would preload cases of them things.
When the shootin starts would you rather be armed or be legal?
She looked around to see if they might be overheard.
Yeah, I know you have.
Let me ask you somethin.
He parked in the motel parking lot and he sat there for some time. Leaning back in the seat and watching in the rearview mirror. Nothing. The police cars were long gone. The yellow police tape across the door lifted in the wind and the trucks droned past headed for Arizona and California. He got out and walked up to the door and blew out the lock with his stungun and walked in and shut the door behind him. He could see the room pretty well by the light through the windows. Small spills of light from the bulletholes in the plywood door. He pulled the little bedside table over to the wall and stood and took a screwdriver from his rear pocket and began to back the screws out of the louvered steel cover of the airduct. He set it on the table and reached in and pulled out the bag and stepped down and walked over to the window and looked out at the parking lot. He took the pistol from behind his belt and opened the door and stepped out and closed it behind him and stooped under the tape and walked down to his truck and got in.
Oh God, she said. She staggered back into the room and slumped to the floor and buried her face in her forearms with her hands over her head. Bell stood there holding his hat.
What makes you say that?
Suppose you was someplace that you didnt know where it was. The real thing you wouldnt know was where someplace else was. Or how far it was. It wouldnt change nothin about where you was at.
That aint funny.
His name was Moss.
You aint done it, she said.
MOSS SET THE CASE in the booth and eased himself in after it. He lifted the menu from the wire rack where it stood along with the mustard and ketchup. She scooted into the booth opposite. He didnt look up. What are you havin, he said.
Thats a hateful thing to say.
You cant hardly walk.
Whats he done that with, Sheriff? the deputy said, holding the cylinder in his hand.
Is she in El Paso?
She took the keys from her pocket and handed them over. I thought maybe youd forgot I had em, she said.
You can get anything you want. You got money.
What do I gotta do for it?
He aint a friend of yours is he Ed Tom?
Is the law huntin you?
He started the truck and pulled down the parking lot behind the motel office.
So are you sorry you become a outlaw?
Thats the direction youre headed in.
What does that mean?
You dont look stupid to me.
No ID.
It dont, does it? I guess I hadnt thought of that.
Did you all find any dope?
She took a drink of her iced tea and wiped her mouth with the paper napkin. Port Arthur, she said.
Say it again. I dont know.
No. I mean what you said. About knowin where you are.
I know. It kind of took me by surprise my own self.
Thats the truth if I ever heard it told, she said.
I dont want you gettin all excited on me.
You wouldnt live there though, would you?
The point is there aint no point.
Yeah. Lately.
You look like you wished it wasnt.
Well thats already a lie.
You dont know who you are?
When he was out of sight of the motel he pulled over onto the shoulder and took the speaker from the hook and called the sheriffs office. They sent two cars. He hung the mike up and put the cruiser in neutral and rolled back down the edge of the highway until he could just see the motel sign. He looked at his watch. 1:45. That seven minute time would make it 1:52. He waited. At the motel nothing moved. At 1:52 he saw them come down the highway and tail each other up the offramp with sirens on and lights blazing. He kept his eyes on the motel. Any vehicle that came out of the lot and headed up the access road hed already determined to run it off the road.
Why not?
You dont know for sure that hes out there, he said.
You tell him I said thank you and Ill give him a call tomorrow.
You got another one of these in that sack?
Be funny if it turned out to be true though, wouldnt it?
All right.
Bell nodded. He looked at the witness. The witness had asked for a cigarette and he lit it and sat smoking. He looked pretty comfortable. He looked as if hed sat in the back of police cruisers before.
Be hard to say.
All right.
I didnt think so.
Nobody tells me nothin, darlin, the sheriff said.
Well darlin what would you know about it?
He says the Mexican started it. Says he drug the woman out of her room and the other man come out with a gun but when he seen the Mexican had a gun pointed at the womans head he laid his own piece down. And whenever he done that the Mexican shoved九*九*藏*書 the woman away and shot her and then turned and shot him. He was standin in front of 117, right yonder. Shot em with a goddamned machinegun. Accordin to this witness the old boy fell down the steps and then he picked up his gun again and shot the Mexican. Which I dont see how he done it. He was shot all to pieces. You can see the blood on the walkway yonder. We had a real good response time. About seven minutes, I think. The girl was just shot dead.
Hed already turned to go. She stepped out and let the door shut behind her. You dont need to rush off thataway, she said.
How far is it to El Paso?
He nodded. He took up the cheeseburger in both hands and bit into it and sat back, chewing. I aint never been to Port Arthur.
Im sorry, mam, he said.
How could you of seen me there if I aint never been there?
Yessir.
I dont think so.
You ever been to California?
I sleep when I get the chance. Yeah. You?
Where are you headin? You aint never said.
Id smoke some weed if you had some.
Like who?
I dont know. Would you?
I could tell you, but then Id have to kill you.
Any money?
They got in and he set the case between them and pulled the Tec-9 out of his belt and slid it under the seat.
Are you talkin about God?
That woman, Bell said. Was she anglo?
No, Bell said. But you always like to think there is.
You think when you get to California youll kind of start over.
She watched him. To see what else he would say. He didnt say anything.
You aint supposed to carry a gun in a public place. Did you not know that? In particular a gun such as that.
Well, well just keep it that way and they wont neither of us be out nothin. All right?
Well I aint.
Cheeseburger and a chocolate milk.
Best way to live in California is to be from somewheres else. Probably the best way is to be from Mars.
He set his alarm for one oclock and when it went off he got up and showered and dressed and walked out to his truck with his small leather bag and put it behind the seat.
Just settin out in the desert. They had come in there of a night and graded out a sort of landin strip and set out rows of tarbarrels for lights but there was no way you could of flown that thing back out of there. It was stripped out to the walls. Just had a pilots seat in it. You could smell the marijuana, you didnt need no dog. Well the sheriff over there — and I wont say his name — he wanted to get set up and nail em when they come back for the plane and finally somebody told him that they wasnt nobody comin back. Never had been. When he finally understood what it was they was tellin him he just got real quiet and then he turned around and got in his car and left.
I dont know. Are you?
No. One of the men was Mexican and were waitin for a registration on his car settin over yonder. Wasnt a one of em had any identification. On em or in the room either one.
You hang around me youll hear some more of it.
They get used to it. They better.
The woman was dead and the one boy I dont think is goin to make it either. The other one might.
The steaks came. He watched her eat. Does they anybody know where youre at? he said.
Thats all right.
It aint mine. Im just keepin it for somebody.
When was the last time you read somethin about Jesus Christ in the newspaper?
I guess thats what you think Im doin.
I think maybe thats the point. Theres a road goin to California and theres one comin back. But the best way would be just to show up there.
No. But theres a lot of bad luck out there. You hang around long enough and youll come in for your share of it.
How old are you?
Do you ever tell the truth?
I dont know that.
Well I aint.
You aint just got out of the penitentiary or somethin have you?
About what?
At the desk the sheriff spoke to the night nurse by name. She looked at Bell.
Later he went out and drove down to the quickstop. When he pulled back into the motel he sat there studying the cars in the lot. Then he got out.
Theres always somebody knows where youre at. Knows where and why. For the most part.
Yeah, he said. You?
I took somethin that belongs to em and they want it back.
I thought you wasnt goin to talk.
Yeah.
Everbodys huntin me.
Yes it is.
He set the bag in the floor and hed reached for the key to turn on the ignition when he saw the Terrell County cruiser pull into the lot in front of the motel office a hundred feet away. He let go of the key and sat back. The cruiser pulled into a parking space and the lights went out. Then the motor. Chigurh waited, the pistol in his lap.
Bell left the house at seven-thirty and took 285 north to Fort Stockton. It was about a two hundred mile run to Van Horn and he reckoned he could make it in under three hours. He turned the rooflights on. About ten miles west of Fort Stockton on the I-10 interstate he passed a car burning by the side of the highway. There were police cars at the scene and one lane of the highway was blocked off. He didnt stop but it gave him an uneasy feeling. He stopped at Balmorhea and refilled his coffeebottle and he pulled into Van Horn at ten twenty-five.
I know you dont but let me try it one more time. You think when you wake up in the mornin yesterday dont count. But yesterday is all that does count. What else is there?
Whats that?
He sat in the sheriffs office alone with the door shut and stared at the phone on the desk.
Yeah, thats him.
Thats pretty old. I didnt know you was that old.
Yeah.
What did you do?
What have you got that machinegun for?
Bell shook his head. I dont know, he said. I guess Id have to say it would be a while.
I dont change my mind. I like to get it right the first time.
They ordered steaks. Do you live like this all the time? she said.
I think so.
Not that they have all that much troubread.99csw.comle second guessin us. They dont have no respect for the law? That aint half of it. They dont even think about the law. It dont seem to even concern em. Of course here a while back in San Antonio they shot and killed a federal judge. I guess he concerned em. Add to that that theres peace officers along this border gettin rich off of narcotics. Thats a painful thing to know. Or it is for me. I dont believe that was true even ten years ago. A crooked peace officer is just a damned abomination.
Is that him?
I dont know. You got any victims?
They paid and walked out to the truck. You wasnt callin me a sow back yonder was you?
When they pulled into Van Horn it was seven oclock at night. Shed slept a good part of the way, curled up with her knapsack for a pillow. He pulled into a truckstop and shut off the engine and her eyes snapped open like a deers. She sat up and looked at him and then looked out at the parking lot. Where are we? she said.
Has that thing got anything to turn them tires with?
He pulled back the sheet. Bell walked around the end of the table. There was no chock under Mosss neck and his head was turned to the side. One eye partly opened. He looked like a badman on a slab. Theyd sponged the blood off of him but there were holes in his face and his teeth were shot out.
No I dont, Sheriff. You can look at her if you want. I dont mind and I know she wont.
Thats your key.
He lifted one of the cold bottles out of the brown paper bag and handed it to her. Here you go, he said.
I aint never seen you there.
Not yet. Were still lookin.
I could eat a bite.
Id say it would turn em pretty good. Its got a four-forty under the hood with a blower on it.
She nodded.
Theyd rented two rooms. Or he did. Paid cash. You couldnt read the name on the register. Just a scrawl.
No.
Get in the truck.
Yeah.
I guess it depends on where you been settin.
I reckon youre on your way to California.
Does she know what you do for a livin?
She got real quiet. He put the key in the ignition and started the truck and backed it out.
Three weeks ago I was a law abidin citizen. Workin a nine to five job. Eight to four, anyways. Things happen to you they happen. They dont ask first. They dont require your permission.
You think thats where I ought to go?
All right. Just ride with me.
I aint had a nights sleep in about two weeks. I dont know what it would feel like. I think its beginnin to make me stupid.
He stopped on the lower step.
I wont say a word. Ill just set here.
All right.
Bell stood looking at the car. Then he turned and looked at the sheriff. Can you get away from here for a minute?
Show up there.
Youre married, aint you?
You understand what Im sayin?
Well. I cant advise you on that neither. Most peoplell run from their own mother to get to hug death by the neck. They cant wait to see him.
I got some.
No, a dead somebody.
Well, it aint as simple as it sounds. Youll see.
He sat on the step and pulled one of the beers from the bag and twisted off the cap and tilted the bottle and drank. She sat on the next step up and did the same.
He stopped and turned. Whats that?
He pointed to the sign overhead.
Yeah. I got two more. And I aim to drink both of em.
I dont know how youd do that.
What do you wear that for?
I dont even want to know what youre doin.
He finished the cheeseburger and wiped his hands on the paper napkin and drank the rest of the milk. Then he reached in his pocket and took out the roll of hundreds and unfolded them. He counted out a thousand dollars onto the formica and pushed it toward her and put the roll back in his pocket. Lets go, he said.
Bell nodded.
Well you are now.
I dont think so. What happened to you?
What am I havin?
I dont either. Thats the point.
I was always lucky. About stuff like that. About meetin people.
He went on up the walkway and climbed the stairs and went in.
Maybe I just decided.
Chigurh checked into a motel on the eastbound interstate and walked out across a windy field in the dark and watched across the highway through a pair of binoculars. The big overland trucks loomed up in the glasses and drew away. He squatted on his heels with his elbows on his knees, watching. Then he went back to the motel.
I could of just slipped off like I was goin to the ladies room and took your truck and left you settin there.
I know you aint old enough to drink but I thought Id see if you wanted a beer.
I hope not. Cause I aint.
Well what do you aim to do?
Done what.
Youre hurt, aint you?
Yes you do. Its wrote all over you. You just dont want to get shot. What are you havin?
Sorry I didnt start sooner. Are you ready?
I dont know.
Well, I wouldnt speak too soon.
Like anybody.
The room was raw concrete block, windowless and empty save for three steel machinists tables on wheels. On two of them lay bodies covered with plastic sheets.
Hard to believe that a man would ride around at night in a small plane with a cargo such as that, but they done it.
Whats in that briefcase?
No. What are you. Are you a character?
I been pickin up young girls hitchhikin and buryin em out in the desert.
Everbodys somethin.
Moss ignored her. Give me the keys, he said.
Whats it to you?
Whatever give you that notion?
Yeah.
After a while the waitress brought their plates. He bit the corner off a packet of mayonnaise and squeezed out the contents over his cheeseburger and reached for the ketchup. Where you from? he said.
I do like it that way, she said. You got that part right.
I dont know, she said. I quit readin it.
What did you do to em?
Moss shook his head. He drank.
Well, thats by your lights.
Yeah. I been to California. I got a brother lives there.
Is that right?
Not a problem, Sheriff.
All right. Whatd you ask me that fread.99csw.comor?
Whats that?
She thought about that. I try not to think about stuff like that, she said.
Hard to say.
Had a little shoot-out. You know anything about this?
You dont act it I guess I should say.
She stood with her back to the open door while they filed past.
Youll be all right.
No I dont.
Down the road.
I get to tell his wife.
Dont be ignorant all your life. In the first place I could see all the way to the front door and out the parkin lot clear to the truck. In the second place even if I was dumb-ass enough to set with my back to the door Id of just called a cab and run you down and pulled you over and beat the shit out of you and left you layin there.
Hes gone home, I reckon.
No.
The first thing he saw was the grille and the screws lying on the table. He shut the door behind him and stood there. He stepped to the window and looked past the edge of the curtain out at the parking lot. He stood there for some time. Nothing moved. He saw something lying in the floor and stepped over and picked it up but he already knew what it was. He turned it in his hand. He walked over and sat on the bed and weighed the little piece of brass in his palm. Then he tilted it into the ashtray on the bedside table.
I thought you didnt know where you was goin.
Im sorry about that.
I think if you were Satan and you were settin around tryin to think up somethin that would just bring the human race to its knees what you would probably come up with is narcotics. Maybe he did. I told that to somebody at breakfast the other mornin and they asked me if I believed in Satan. I said Well that aint the point. And they said I know but do you? I had to think about that. I guess as a boy I did. Come the middle years my belief I reckon had waned somewhat. Now Im startin to lean back the other way. He explains a lot of things that otherwise dont have no explanation. Or not to me they dont.
There was a red sign at the end of the hall that read Exit. Before they got there she turned and fitted a key to a steel door on the left and opened it and switched on the light.
Bell looked down the row of motel doors. People standing around in small groups talking. He looked at the black Barracuda.
You mean and not know how you got there?
He rose and started up the walkway. She stood at the door. Ill tell you somethin I heard in a movie one time, she said.
I did. I ordered some of that chicken for you.
I didnt think so.
Youre right. It aint. I was just pullin your leg.
Why? You fixin to bury me out in the desert?
You aint no welder, she said.
What?
Thatll be fine. Let me just park my cruiser a little better.
I can. What did you have in mind?
Nothin. Im just raggin you. Ill quit.
No. I aint.
Do you know who they were?
I hope so.
Its a tush off of a wild boar.
I just thought I might get you to ride over to the clinic with me.
He got up and walked over and switched off the light. Five bulletholes in the door. He stood with the revolver in his hand, his thumb on the knurled hammer. Then he opened the door and walked out.
Well thats where Im goin.
That dont sound like weldin to me.
Youll be all right.
Youre full of it.
Let me just pull it up here out of the way. You dont always know how quick youll be back when you set off someplace.
That aint no answer.
I will.
What about men?
Yessir, Ill sure do it.
No.
Me? Yeah, Im queer as a coot.
Say it again.
IVE LOST A LOT OF friends over these last few years. Not all of em older than me neither. One of the things you realize about gettin older is that not everbody is goin to get older with you. You try to help the people thatre payin your salary and of course you cant help but think about the kind of record you leave. This county has not had a unsolved homicide in forty-one years. Now we got nine of em in one week. Will they be solved? I dont know. Ever day is against you. Time is not on your side. I dont know as itd be any compliment if you was known for second guessin a bunch of dopedealers.
The sheriff covered Mosss face and reached and lifted back the plastic at the other table and looked at Bell. Bell shook his head.
Hard to say.
You dont know everthing.
Maybe.
You know. About beatin the crap out of me.
Killin people?
Or anybodys. You dont start over. Thats what its about. Ever step you take is forever.
I dont know why they call it a newspaper. I dont call that stuff news.
All right. You aint changed your mind have you?
All right. Thats a lot of money though.
I might just be a fellow traveler.
Does he like it?
I said does anybody know where youre at.
Yeah.
She raised her head and looked at him. Her crumpled face. Damn you, she said. You stand there and tell me youre sorry? My husband is dead. Do you understand that? You say youre sorry one more time and by God if I wont get my gun and shoot you.
I dont blame you. I would if I could.
You mean lately?
You wont say a word.
He walked down to her room and tapped at the door. He waited. He tapped again. He saw the curtain move and then she opened the door. She stood there in the same jeans and T-shirt. She looked like shed just woken up.
He looked at her and looked away again. He stretched his legs out on the concrete and crossed his boots and looked out across the parking lot toward the highway and the lights on the highway. Darlin, he said, how in the hell would I know where you ought to go?
Cause theys some bad people after me.
Yep.
Yeah. And not know how you got there.
They holstered their pistols. He and the chief deputy walked over to the room and Bell showed him the lock and the airvent and the lock cylinder.
Yeah.
You dont need to know.
Well Im glad to hear thats all right.
They followed her down the hallway. There was a thin trail of blood along the con九*九*藏*書crete floor. They wouldnt of been hard to find, would they? Bell said.
I dont know.
It aint half what you think it is. Youll see.
Hed knocked on other doors with the same sort of message, it wasnt all that new to him.
What?
Two hours later he checked into the Rodeway Inn on the east side of town and got the key and went to his room and went to bed. He woke at six as he always did and got up and closed the curtains and went back to bed but he couldnt sleep. Finally he got up and showered and dressed and went down to the coffeeshop and got his breakfast and read the paper. Thered be nothing about Moss and the girl yet. When the waitress came with more coffee he asked her what time they got the evening paper.
Hell, its all right, Ed Tom.
Yeah. She was anglo. Had blonde hair. Sort of reddish, maybe.
Carla Jean, he said.
Finally he got up and went out. The deputy looked up.
You tell the sheriff Ill call him from El Paso.
Its a long story, Bell said. Im sorry to of got you all out here for nothin.
You ever kill anybody?
Im just as sorry as I can be.
He saw the window curtain move slightly and then the door opened and she stood there in jeans with her shirttail out looking at him. No expression. Just waiting. He took off his hat and she leaned against the doorjamb and turned her face away.
You.
You dont have to do nothin. Even a blind sow finds a acorn ever once in a while. Put that up and lets go.
You said youd quit.
What does this man say?
Im goin to El Paso.
This?
The Barracuda pulled into a truckstop outside of Balmorhea and drove into the bay of the adjoining carwash. The driver got out and shut the door and looked at it. There was blood and other matter streaked over the glass and over the sheet-metal and he walked out and got quarters from a change-machine and came back and put them in the slot and took down the wand from the rack and washed the car and rinsed it off and got back in and pulled out onto the highway going west.
You aint got drugs in that satchel have you?
No. Im talkin about you.
I dont know. He lives there.
Cause bad girls like bad boys. What are you goin to have?
Why is that.
You cant make it go away. None of it. You understand what Im sayin?
You think Im a bad girl?
Would you of done that?
Well darlin youre just a little late. Cause I done bought. And I think Ill stick with what I got.
All right. Well get your information down at the office. Kind of a skankylookin little old girl.
I just meant maybe you could set here and drink one of em with me.
Hes up here to make a identification, the sheriff said.
We aint found nothin yet. The girl was checked into 121. Had a knapsack with some clothes in it and stuff was all.
He looked at her. After a while he said: Its not about knowin where you are. Its about thinkin you got there without takin anything with you. Your notions about startin over.
You aint done, either. Are you?
I wont blow it in. I need money to get me a place to stay.
Whats that on that chain?
I just meant its all right we could just set out here and drink a beer.
Where am I goin then.
They ate. He watched her.
He picked up the telephone but the line was dead. He put the receiver back in the cradle.
Whats happened, Marvin?
What do you think?
Yeah. Go ahead.
He stood there, his hat in his hand. Im sorry, he said.
And thats whats in that bag. Aint it?
She ate. Well, she said. Youd be in a fix if you didnt know where you was at.
He studied her. The only people I know that know what a character is, he said, is other characters.
Fellow traveler.
He covered her face again. I dont reckon his wife is goin to like that part of it neither, he said.
What I just said.
He squinted at her. You ever notice how women have trouble takin no for a answer? I think it starts about age three.
And this may sound ignorant but I think for me the worst of it is knowin that probably the only reason Im even still alive is that they have no respect for me. And thats very painful. Very painful. It has done got way beyond anything you might of thought about even a few years ago. Here a while back they found a DC-4 over in Presidio County.
I dont know where youre at because I dont know who you are.
When the cruisers pulled into the motel he started the car and turned on the lights and did a U-turn and went back down the road the wrong way and pulled into the lot and got out.
I quit readin it and I made my husband quit readin it.
Yeah. I tell the truth.
I know where youre goin.
You want to split this last beer?
No, I dont expect she will.
I guess it would too, she said. A long while.
I dont want to be around no shootin.
Theres a lot of good salesmen around and you might buy somethin yet.
I couldnt. I was just sayin I aint. I was agreein with you.
Its more than just a answer.
He sipped the beer. Holding it by the neck between his thumb and forefinger.
Why aint I?
Go ahead.
Would you of done what you said back yonder? About if I had of took your truck?
Why? Because theys somebody after you?
He took his pistol from the holster and flipped open the gate and checked the shells in the cylinder and closed the gate with his thumb and sat with the pistol resting on his knee.
The waitress came and they ordered. She got the hot beef sandwich with mashed potatoes and gravy. You aint even asked me where I was goin, she said.
I understand that. I been there.
A safecracker?
Your life is made out of the days its made out of. Nothin else. You might think you could run away and change your name and I dont know what all. Start over. And then one mornin you wake up and look at the ceilin and guess whos layin there?
Are you queer? she said.
Are you a safecracker?
Is that right? You know a lot of queers?
Yeah. I was ready fore I come in here.