MAGGIE

MAGGIE (contd)

Kid agrees. Ike puts the hat on and starts to cross the street.

(enjoying the moment)

IKE

ANGLE ON:

a wash? You know, get all that city

I mean Maggie didnt know she was going

WALTER

coloring products. Maggie helps.

happiness, you might as well go back.

Getting nervous?

a bike.

IKE

newsstand, hes our local bookie, you

When Im wrong, Im wrong. I pushed a

Ike smiles at Maggie and exits.

grit out of it.

been more certain in my life. Except

Maggie gives him a look that says, "You are not absolved." She

MAGGIE

Gee, I hope they dont have a fight out

BOB

Youll never guess who came crawling

about reality?

WALTER

MAGGIE

IKE (o.s.)

PETE

WALTER

MAGGIE

step forward toward Ike.

(sarcastically)

going to run again. And Im not

sink. While she does this...

here for vindication. In my heart...

about them?

looks at his brightly colored hair.

Ike stares back at her, the tickle of suspicion creeping up his

I feel Im right about you. You got me

Yes.

to make the hundred-yard dash.

Ike moves toward the door. He spots Pete.

operation, Grandmas birthday...

MAGGIE

Mr. Graham.

Ike checks on the tapes.

Id love to stay and chat, but Ive got

EXT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK

myself on that point.

aromatherapy.

IKE

You know, your daughter seems...

Yes. Conviction. Conviction that Im

tickets. The dog, Sprout, sits in is basket.

of Bobs chair and puts her arm on his shoulder.

Dads fishing trip, Grandmas knee

Ike walks九-九-藏-書 back to Maggie.

Youre all ready for football season,

WALTER

Skipper.

-- I am having all kinds of weird

that you did to the last three. Youre

WALTER

grooms in the dust like that.

My jacket, please.

Thank you.

removes the towel. His hair is divided into equal parts and

Ike stares at his hair in total confusion. With icy calm, Ike

Good fact. Well, you let me know.

GRANDMA JULIA

Maggie enters the parlor to see Ike smiling evilly from his seat

Fine. You wash, Ill ask the

IKE

IKE (contd)

Nervous? Not at all! No. Ive never

IKE

Peggy hands him his jacket.

(calming)

Maggie pulls into the driveway in her truck. Shes in a fine

Ike pulls the cloth down from over his face.

to get back to work. I still have my

Sorry.

she certainly is the fastest.

No, shes talking about your hair.

Youre going to be very disappointed.

the portrait)

loved it. And Im down here to satisfy

Ike listens intently and stares steadily into her eyes. Peggy

WALTER

IKE

He stares at her for a beat, stung by her words.

We overhear them murmuring in annoyed tones about the wedding

CUT TO:

IKE

snaps a look to Bob, who follows her.

it means. Reds not my color!

on the couch.

Ike notices that hes been sewn to the veil.

Ike sits with a towel over his head as Peggy blow-dries the back

Excuse me, Pete, do you know a place

You know, when I only see one dog, I

In other words -- hes only human. An

necks. Its all very "Night of the

Walter gestures toread.99csw.com a pile of video cassettes on the bookcase.

off...?

... Like such a lovely girl.

You chew men up, spit them out and

Grandma cuts the thread and separates the veil from Ikes sleeve.

Bob, Walter, and Maggies GRANDMOTHER JULIA sit in the living

in a long dress and heels. Maggie may

interest is more than piqued. Ike picks it up. They get up and

Maggie walks away. Ike walks a few steps and stops at a KID on

In another one...

onto the truth. Youre going to do the

It wasnt that funny.

MAGGIE

Maggie nods affirmatively.

She puts on her sunglasses.

IKE

story. I made a mistake.

dreams.

PEGGY

that sells shampoo... Strong shampoo?

IKE (contd)

going to wait to hear what the pros say.

Have a seat. Peggy, why dont you give

(removing his jacket)

Talk to whoever you want. You might

wont. He says shes so famous now,

him Pete sent you. Want my hat?

(to Peggy)

fired, lady. You destroyed my

Ah, beautiful.

Well see.

leaving until you do.

plans as they exit... Walter puts down his drink.

(to Peggy)

My daughter makes real good time, even

your hat.

Yes, I think I nailed the personality

not be Hales longest running joke, but

MAGGIE

INT. BEAUTY PARLOR - LATER

IKE

know Ive had too much to drink.

apologize to your family.

Oh, yeah. Scared the hell out of

Who?

PASSERSBY stare at Ikes hair and giggle.

IKE (contd)

MAGGIE

Great.

Peggy recovers his face, then continues to fuss with the hair

Ike turns and puts the clipping up on thehｔtｐｓ://reaｄ•99ｃｓw•coｍ mirror.

MAGGIE

Maggie swivels his chair so that Ike faces the mirror. Ike

him the special treatment that

Ike leans and rests his head on the sink. Peggy bends over him

is there, only theyre not really them.

strengthens the follicles.

cabinet affixed to the wall above sink, which holds various

shampoos and hair dyes. Maggie gets an idea. Maggie and Peggy

If youre looking for Elm Street, its

MAGGIE

(sarcastically)

GRANDMA JULIA

Te family dog, Skipper, sits near a ceramic dog table. Maggie

maybe Vegas will give odds on her. Im

I just cant see her leaving multiple

DISSOLVE TO:

Weird dreams? Youre going to tell me

He walks the other way.

(putting on jacket;

job.

Living Dead". And heres the creepiest

Gotta tell you this about my daughter.

its red. I mean, I have no idea what

In front of beauty salon, Maggie follows Ike out.

IKE

MAGGIE

Lets just put this back here for the

IKE

Ike sits in the chair near the sink. Maggie shakes out a smock

BOB

MAGGIE (contd)

CLOSE ON: A tape. It reads: "Maggie I, II, III." Ikes

Youll answer my questions?

EXT. USA TODAY LOADING DOCK - DAY

PEGGY

IKE

WALTER

MAGGIE

room. Grandma is sewing one of Maggies wedding veils. Walter

Ike peeks out from under his towel as Maggie continues.

growling)

Ill help you take into the kitchen.

So, the forces of good and evil have

So, what do you want to know?

into town with his tail between his

drinks wine, Ike wears a hat.

Hey, kid, 九*九*藏*書Ill give you ten bucks for

MAGGIE

Maggie stares at them both.

smiles stiffly, looking back at Ike. She then sits on the arm

MRS. PRESSMAN

Im not here to make you feel bad. Im

PEGGY

Ike hands Peggy his jacket. A mystified Peggy leads Ike to the

So what do you think?

Like her mother.

Oh, yes, you can. Shes has em all on

IKE (contd)

(looks to Walter)

it the finishing touches. Then he sees his defaced newspaper

Thats okay, Grandma.

GRANDMA JULIA

Docs Pharmacy. Third and Elm. Tell

same thing to "poor bastard number four"

IKE

and bag.

Walter cracks up.

know, hes giving eight to one odds she

and wets his hair. She grabs various hair coloring products.

They made me put my hat back on.

Check on the crabs, Bob.

IKE (contd)

Cindy does her own nails as Mrs. Pressman scratches off lottery

reputation and you screwed up my hair.

of his head. His back is to the mirror, his body faces Maggie.

legs.

IKE

No thanks.

mood as she walks right in the house.

already met.

Well, wedding cake freezes. This we

smiles as she walks in the front door and puts down her tool box

MAGGIE

there. You dont think theyll call it

Maggie indicates column to Peggy. She looks over at the part of

Maggie takes the wine bottle from the table next to Walter. She

He seems crabby.

You have one?

(innocently)

Mrs. Pressman continues her story to Ike.

IKE

Raises the bottle to Maggie.

Hello, Maggie. I just came by to

Did something happen to make you care

IKE

Be九-九-藏-書cause you cant make me feel bad.

actually stumble upon a fact or two.

dyed orange and red.

without the bolts coming out of their

Yeah. Lee at the hotel videos wedding.

She has a tape?

IKE

If you came down here in the pursuit of

rises from his chair and primps the end of his hair as if giving

MRS. PRESSMAN

(seeing the portrait)

MAGGIE

go to the dining room.

EXT. MAIN STREET - DAY

know.

PEGGY

stunned.

Walter points to a portrait painting on the wall.

profile of the women of Hale.

IKE (contd)

Ha ha.

Im not sure. Mr. Schullian runs the

She stops walking and turns to Ike.

INT. MAGGIES HOUSE - DUSK

(continuing his thought)

and puts it around Ike.

Hey, Pete, Ill be right with you.

MAGGIE

part -- I look down at my dress and

IKE

Well, instead of a haircut, how about

MAGGIE

shows it to everyone. Ike does a slow burn.

I have nothing to hide, Mr. Graham.

Theyre like Frankenstein monsters, but

Youve got to be kidding me.

spine.

(good-natured)

(then, imitates

I think youd look good in red.

the shop used to wash and dye hair. Theres a sink, stool and a

PETE, wearing a hat, comes in the front door of the salon.

questions.

An OLD WOMAN walks by and hits him with a newspaper. Ike is

No, no, you should have seen Skipper.

IKE

tape.

(gets up to admire

IKE

Thank you.

Im inside the church. Everyone I know

he brought us a bottle of wine.

Oh, I will.

to Pete)

that way.

MAGGIE

GRANDMA JULIA

clipping and all becomes clear. He picks up the article and