Bob and Maggie kiss Ike two little love-birds.

tape.

ON TV:

stares at her, the smirk fades from his face. He just looks at

away. During the video, Ike scribbles: "Gill Chavez". Maggie

A pre-wedding luau?

Thats fair.

newspaper. Ike is stunned as she walks off. He turns to a MAN

her, allowing himself to see her expression, her eyes. He cant

Mrs. Trout beams. Maggie understands his answer a little better.

(false modesty)

If youre still in town, you should

(to Mrs. Trout)

She starts picking lint off his sleeve and buttons his cuff.

MRS. TROUT

Really?

Fisher and Ellie are exercising. Fisher is on a cycle machine.

CUT TO:

exits a neighboring shop and walks down the block. He pauses in

half full king of guy.

IKE

MRS. TROUT

INT. IKES HOTEL ROOM/INT. FISHER AND ELLIES BEDROOM (NYC)

Too dark.

CUT TO:

MRS. TROUT

IKE

No.

Yes, I am. And who are you?

(interrupting)

heads for the door.

Everest.

out.

Ahh.

Emma and I were only blessed with one

MAGGIE

cinnamon rolls)

IKE

best you.

MAGGIE

does, a middle-aged Black WOMAN walks by and whacks him with a

MAGGIE

She ignores him and continues her search.

Everest. Is that right?

Despite what you think, I dont do it

You wont believe what Im looking at,

We see the Carpenters backyard. It is Gill and Maggies

Hes not a nice person.

You must be that Mr. Graham fellow.

Maggie hands Mrs. Trout her bride and broom f九九藏書igures. Maggie

This ones very popular, but oh, youve

Ikes hammer flies out of his hand. He goes to pick it up.

some solo, some tuxes, some in dinner jackets.

Maggies fiascoes.

MAGGIE

Yes. My husband and I love luaus.

youre throwing --

Walter reacts.

Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam! Oh, help me!

IKE

scolds him. Walter whacks his crab with his hammer and Ike

My girl likes to brag about me.

IKE

BOB

Bobs the head of the P.E. department

(all smiles for

she leaves. Ike hangs up. He gets up to pick up the remote and

No, hes no good. Too blond.

the head and run away screaming.

Did you see that?

Grateful Dead-type music. He makes an introductory speech.

MAGGIE

MAGGIE

Mrs. Trout turns and grabs Ikes bag containing two coffees.

Maggie steps out onto the back porch. Shes beautiful in a

He starts to leave with his bag. Mrs. Trout stops him.

But hes got the Bobsters eyes.

to go. She jumps off the stage and runs up to a passing GUY on

MAGGIE

Angels-types, Deadheads and townspeople. The "altar" is a band

say or you can quote me, Im a glass

ON TV: IT SAYS, "GEORGE SWILLING WEDDING".

wrecks.

INT. DINNING ROOM/MAGGIES HOUSE - NIGHT

Mrs. Trout steps away to get his order. Ike moves to the other

body combining for success. You could

Maggie steps over, carrying her bride and groom figure choices.

(handing him the

used this one before... Brian九九藏書. But I

(sometimes slowing down).

MRS. TROUT

respect. Nobody whos been up Everest is a total clown.

BOB (contd)

football team. And hes climbed

IKE

(seeing the

Ill have two of those delicious

IKE

Thats right, Maggie. Just keep your

then sits back down to watch.

on purpose. And I have no intention of

As Maggie rides down the aisle, suddenly the horse whinnies!

stop by.

Establishing. High angle wide shot of a bakery in Hale. Ike

trampoline. We can see her tattoo. She jumps on the trampoline,

(picks up another)

IKE

(to Mrs. Trout)

The tape fast-forwards to the next wedding. Now Ike is looking

MAGGIE

INT. THE TROUT BAKERY - CONTINUOUS

Twice...

MAGGIE

Help me! Yup! Thats her all right.

CUT TO:

Sports psychology. It was my major in

MAGGIE

MRS. TROUT

at a much more relaxed, hipper, backyard wedding. It says,

-- The luau for Maggie.

He leaves.

MRS. TROUT

screen. Superimposed titles read "Brian Norris wedding."

We think so.

Gill is waiting on the platform with a rock combo playing

of grooms for her wedding cake. The groom figures are spread out

Is that what youre going to do now?

groom, Brian, and his best man wait at the altar.

(sharply)

(boasting)

help it.

IKE

Your two cinnamon rolls.

Could I have two coffees, please? And

wedding day. The yard is crowded with a MIXTURE of Hells

Not this one. This ones on me.

INTERCUT TELEPHONE CONV九_九_藏_書ERSATION

side of Maggie and picks up the bride and groom figure.

college.

Well go with total traditional.

MAGGIE

his glasses and watches a video taped wedding playing on the TV

MRS. TROUT

front of the bakery to take a look at Maggies truck. As he

wearing a crown of flowers. The Maid Marian look. Ike slows the

Betty Trout. Five dollars.

How romantic.

IKE (contd)

BOB

over their heads to the back fence.

Oh, Betty. I take it youre going to

(exasperated)

IKE

Ike turns and goes to her.

WALTER

doing it again.

We see Maggie move away another aisle and out of the church.

(as he pays)

approaches the altar on horseback, in a simple white dress,

IKE

To Maggies satisfaction, Ike shoots Bob a look of begrudging

(sticking it to Ike)

Ike raises his eyebrows in question. Bob explains.

MRS. TROUT is behind the counter helping Maggie with a selection

copies him.

trainer. Big advocate of the mind and

on the counter. All sizes and colors, some attached to brides,

Thank you. Thank you so much.

image of Maggie, hair blowing. Although she is panic-stricken,

As she hits the stage, she looks at Peggy and Gill, then decides

Two flower girls and Peggy enter a crowded church where the

EXT. TE TROUT BAKERY - THE NEXT DAY

Maggie has kicked it in the shins. It rears and bolts,

Ahh...

bride from Ike coldly.

Nothing like sharing your nuptial bed

IKE

galloping off with the b九九藏書ride. Ike FREEZE FRAMES the tape on an

miniature bride)

Follow me around everywhere I go?

cant wait to show it to you.

Ike smiles at Maggie enigmatically as he picks up his order and

BOB (contd)

and pay for, so many weddings.

Trout imitates Ike bamming the bride and groom, laughing.

Mrs. Trout just about bursts a gut laughing. Maggie takes the

Walter cracks up, Maggie shoots Ike a look. He smiles back.

looks at Mrs. Trout, suddenly nervous. She dashes out. Mrs.

IKE

Ellie does yoga stretches. Ike sits back on the couch, puts on

Fisher. A videotape of all three train

Mrs. Trout hands Ike his items and he pays.

our honeymoon.

Here, Maggie. I think this makes the

Mrs. Trout)

No -- the Bobsters eyes are closer set.

first wedding. She drags the train boy up the second aisle as

Fun? Fun isnt the word.

her soul seems to shine through in tat single frame. As Ike

He makes the bride figure repeatedly knock the groom figure in

IKE

So Ive come to see it as a bonus,

MAGGIE

Ike is highly amused.

Im the towns unofficial fitness

Maggie cringes at the sound of Ikes voice.

really, that weve been able to plan,

(cynical delight)

at the high school. And he coaches the

IKE (contd)

THE TV - CLOSE

Now we see Maggie come down the aisle, then walk past the altar.

area, MUSICIANS plays. Ike laughs as he discovers that Maggie

SHOCKED WEDDING GUESTS rise in horror, as she runs frｈtｔps://ｒｅaｄ.９9cｓｗ•ｃoｍom this

CLOSE ON a group of plastic grooms and brides on a counter top.

The family dog, Skipper, steals food from the table. Walter

child, not for lacking of trying.

MAGGIE

goes off on dirt bike. The tape fast-forwards to the last of

MRS. TROUT

IKE

then dives into the crowd. They watch her and body surf her

(to Fisher; into phone)

platform against the back fence.

No, Im sure he doesnt.

IKE (contd)

(impressed)

ON IKESTV

with two Sherpas and a yak.

stares closely. The groom is George from the bar.

other bag)

Actually, I would love to come.

be making the wedding cake and they say

hippie-type wedding ensemble. She walks with her father to a

BOB

MRS. TROUT

sitting on a bench.

Bye, Betty. Thanks.

eye on the ball.

Lets see... Excuse me, isnt that cute?

CUT TO:

(taps her service bell)

looking cinnamon rolls.

Kamikaze!

"Gill Chavez Wedding". He hits the fast-forward button

what is that wonderful smell?

He now sees the third wedding. Its outdoors, in a tree lined

She gets to him. Ike gets a restless look on his face. He

Itll be fun.

This is good, Dad, dont leave anything

IKE

IKE

WALTER (contd)

like the white dinner jacket.

Im taking her trekking on Annapurna on

IKE

a dirt bike. She jumps on and turns and waves as she rides

Then, Ike comes up behind her as she discards another groom.

Grandma made me the cutest outfit. I

(picking up a

Sure.

Without oxygen...