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惦念不識字的汪大娘

惦念不識字的汪大娘

張中行先生筆下有個汪大娘,鄉下進京就給一家富貴人家當下人,日夜操勞,自得其樂。文革暴風一刮,主人懷璧其罪,自然難逃調查審問之霉運。汪大娘既是下人,理應滿心階級仇恨,真是最理想的證人。豈料大娘沒學過階級鬥爭的理論,又不識時務,有碗說碗,有碟說碟,毫不醒目。人家問她:「你伺候他們,總吃了不少苦吧?」答曰:「一點不苦。我們老爺太太待我很好。他們都是好人。連孩子們也不壞,他們不敢到廚房淘氣。」問者哭笑不得,放她走了。張老說,汪大娘年及古稀,竟連故宮都沒去過,「我吃了比她多九_九_藏_書讀幾本書的虧,聽到這件事,反而有些輕微的黍離、麥秀之思,秀才人情,心裏叨念一句:『汪大娘不識字,有福了!』」
「黍離」典出《詩·王風》,說西周亡后,周大夫過故宗廟宮室,盡為禾黍,彷徨不忍去;「麥秀」是指箕子朝周,過故廢墟,感宮室毀壞,生禾黍,心傷之,作《麥秀》之詩歌;後來兩者都用為感慨亡國觸景生情之詞。張老借了這個淒美的意念去點破讀書人傷春悲秋的懷抱,反而不如汪大娘心靈平靜。這是實話。經過了十年大革命的風風雨雨逃出生天的知識分子,誰都會沉read.99csw.com痛體會到識字是苦難浩劫的禍根,同時卻又加倍尊重知識的尊嚴,珍惜語文的功能,寶愛文化的價值。我沒有親身經歷過這一場血淚寫出來的十年歷史,看到重生的知識分子筆下的一字一句,縱然是用淡淡的筆墨去流露大大的寬容,我也不禁悲從中來,想到一位年輕作家俯在胡風耳邊說的那句話:「老人家,你替我們受苦了!」
知識是非常難求的寶藏。寫作是非常艱辛的工作。我常常想起George Gissing《四季零墨》里的一段話:「今之男女,煮字以療飢者多不勝數,實則得以靠此維生者萬中九-九-藏-書無一。此輩中人或因別無他技而舞文弄墨,或因慣見文人一行自立門戶、風光無窮而效顰操觚,不惜乞哀告憐,舉債渡日,終致進退維谷,悔之晚矣,不知如何是好?區區一生命途多舛,回首前塵,深感鼓勵晚輩以文謀生,簡直罪過。」(「Innumerable are the men and women now writing for bread, who have not the least chance of finding in such work a permanent livehttps://read.99csw.comlihood. They took to writing because they knew not what else to do, or because the literary calling tempted them by its independence and its dazzling prices. They will hang on to the squalid profession, their earnings eked out by begging aread.99csw•comnd borrowing, until it is too late for them to do anything else - and what then? With a lifetime of dread experience behind me, I say that he who encourages any young man or woman to look for his living to 'literature', commits no less than a crime.」)